Why did Van Gogh die?
"in an artist's life, death is perhaps not the most difficult thing."
"As a suffering creature, I cannot do without
something greater than I—something that is my life—the power to Create."
Van Gogh
While in Melbourne, I got a ticket to the “Van Gogh Reimagined” immersive exhibition at The LUME.
With lots of interactive elements, the whole space from floor to ceiling and all walls came alive with vibrant blues, golden yellows, and sweeping brush strokes, having me feel as if I was walking inside his paintings.
One of the most iconic and influential artists of all times, Van Gogh was an extraordinarily gifted soul—perhaps an alien, much like myself—yet alienated (of course!) and so misunderstood by society. He was far ahead of his time, living in an era that couldn’t appreciate his brilliance and genius. It’s pretty clear that being chronically unseen and unacknowledged had adversely affected his mental health.
The irony is staggering: he was destitute and struggling financially, with no one buying his paintings or recognizing his talent while he was alive. Yet now, after his death, his art is everywhere, and others are profiting immensely from his legacy. Walk through the aisles of the museum shop, and you’ll see notebooks, tote bags, calendars, cards, water bottles, mugs, wallets—every imaginable item adorned with his paintings. Replicas of his work sell for small fortunes.
But does any of the money go to support the struggling artist he once was? No. Money can’t travel back in time. The current of currency flows only in one direction. Such is the limitation of this world, which he was not from, nor was he ever a part of anyway.
Here are some of my favorite quotes from Van Gogh:
"A great fire burns within me, but no one stops to warm themselves at it, and passers-by only see a wisp of smoke."
"I have nature and art and poetry, and if that is not enough, what is enough?"
"To do good work one must eat well, be well housed, have one's fling from time to time, smoke one's pipe, and drink one's coffee in peace."
"Paintings have a life of their own that derives from the painter’s soul."
"I dream of painting and then I paint my dream."
"If you hear a voice within you say you cannot paint, then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced."
"If I am worth anything later, I am worth something now. For wheat is wheat, even if people think it is a grass in the beginning."
"Great things are not done by impulse, but by a series of small things brought together."
"The beginning is perhaps more difficult than anything else, but keep heart, it will turn out all right."
"It is looking at things for a long time that ripens you and gives you a deeper meaning."
Struck by awe as much as anguish for Van Gogh, I looked up online for information on his financial life. Was he actually penniless? How come he struggled so much?
This is what I’ve found out:
Apparently, his brother Theo supported him financially regularly, but his stipend often ran out quickly for a number of reasons:
- He went through his painting supplies so quickly (of course!) His passion for painting meant he painted so much and had to keep buying new supplies.
- He visited brothels regularly.
As you can see in one of his quotes, he said that one of the factors that helped "to do good work" is to "have one's fling from time to time." I imagine that's his "from time to time" visit to the prostitute.
Vincent was a lover of love itself. He craved love, real love, the love that society could not offer or spare him a drop of (except from his brother who loved him and believed in him). Hence, he was looking for fleeting moments of love at the brothels... Any mature adult knows that you can't really find love there anyway. It's just a quick fix that never really solves anything. And just like with any drugs, you have to keep coming back for more. Bad move, Vincent.
- He loved painting portraits of others, so he had to pay frequently for the models to pose.
- He loved living in beautiful places, bought a lot of furniture, and bought several copies of illustrated newspapers.
I don't blame him for this. As an artist, one must live in beauty and surrounded by beauty. As an artist, one loves art. Period.
Apparently he bought 12 chairs for his apartment, a strange move that would probably make sense to only his genius mind.
Which brings me to the last point:
- He was not great at managing his money. The money went out much faster than what was coming in (support from Theo, his brother).
Right here is a timeless lesson: Financial literacy and management skills are essential, ESPECIALLY if one is an artist.
What I found out about him did not surprise me as much as it saddened me.
Van Gogh had a bunch of quirks and idiosyncrasies that seemed to all add up against him. But here's the thing:
All artists have quirks and idiosyncrasies -- we have obsessions as well as compulsions.
In fact, this is not even about artists. This is about being human.
Here is the greatest puzzle of life:
How do we keep making arts the way the bees keep making honey, while being in our human condition instead of escaping it?
After all, the bees do not have to stop being bees in order to make honey. We do not need to stop being humans with all of our flaws and foibles in order to create beauty, magnificence, and greatness in the world.
So… How did Van Gogh die?
He committed suicide.
He shot himself in the chest.
Life had become too bleak and hopeless for him. No one (or very few people) was buying his paintings. He didn't want to be a financial burden to his brother Theo any longer, especially when Theo got married and had his first child.
What a tragic fate.
All the money generated from the sales of his paintings in this day and age could not help undo this tragic outcome. This is the greatest irony of all!
I mourned for Van Gogh and felt the weight of his tragic fate so deeply. His words pierced my heart—this particular quote from him had my tears fell like rain:
“I can't change the fact that my paintings don't sell. But the time will come when people will recognize that they are worth more than the value of the paints used in the picture.”
Here is a man, unseen and unrecognized in his time, now becoming a cash cow for people who had nothing to do with him. It’s all so strange. I can't comprehend it.
What I can now comprehend is this line in the song "Vincent":
"This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you."
Dear Vincent,
Thank you for coming to Earth all the way from the future and leaving us such an enormous, breathtaking legacy.
You show me that our art is not for us, personally; it's never meant to be.
About me:
As a Book Doula, Creative Channeler, and Expression Catalyst, I help conscious creators and feminine leaders unlock their most authentic creative expression, so they can birth the book their soul is calling them to bring into form.
My work is not just about writing—it’s about activating the deeper truth that wants to come through you and shaping it into a clear, powerful, and resonant manuscript that fully embodies your essence.
Do you have a book inside you? If you’re looking for support to birth the book your soul is calling you to write, send me a message and let’s chat.
Don’t die with your stories, arts and music still inside you!